I am not a guru. I am not enlightened. I do not have a full understanding of what self-enquiry is. I do, however, believe I have enough of a basic idea of what self-enquiry is to get seekers and those interested pointed in the right direction.

Can you exist without knowing it? Of course! That is the essence of what the Buddha means when he says that ignorance is the cause of everything. Now then, the teaching of self-enquiry revolves around putting all of your attention on the primordial thought “I am” – the thought that gives birth to all other thoughts. Can there be thought without first having realized that you exist? No! Thus, focusing your attention on the thought “I am” brings the mind back to its source. And ultimately even the thought “I am” must disappear.

Self-Enquiry get’s its name from the idea that the seeker must ask the question “Who am I?” This question requires no intellectual answer. It is simply a tool that is designed to place your attention on the sense “I am”. The thought “I am” is buried so deeply in one’s mind that I think it’s necessary to first practice meditation for a while before starting self-enquiry. In fact, I personally believe that the technique is impractical. I recommend meditation over self-enquiry. But, I do believe that there a few souls who the teaching will click with.

There are alot of books on the subject of self-enquiry. The two that I recommend most are, “I am That” by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj (1897 – 1981). And, “Be as You Are” by Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi (1879 – 1950). Read these two and grow wise But, be warned, it took me two years to read “I am That” as I could not read more than 5 or 6 pages at a time before I would get too confused. Modern advocates of self-enquiry include Eckhart Tolle and Adyashanti.

(When I met my Guru, he told me: “You are not what you take yourself
to be. Find out what you are. Watch the sense ‘I am’, find your real
Self.” I obeyed him, because I trusted him. I did as he told me. All
my spare time I would spend looking at myself in silence. And what a
difference it made, and how soon!

My teacher told me to hold on to the sense ‘I am’ tenaciously and not
to swerve from it even for a moment. I did my best to follow his
advice and in a comparatively short time I realized within myself the
truth of his teaching. All I did was to remember his teaching, his
face, his words constantly. This brought an end to the mind; in the
stillness of the mind I saw myself as I am — unbound.

I simply followed (my teacher’s) instruction which was to focus the
mind on pure being ‘I am’, and stay in it. I used to sit for hours
together, with nothing but the ‘I am’ in my mind and soon peace and
joy and a deep all-embracing love became my normal state. In it all
disappeared — myself, my Guru, the life I lived, the world around
me. Only peace remained and unfathomable silence.)

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

People in Western societies tend to think of meditation as merely some type or form of relaxation.  They remain woefully ignorant of the power, importance and availability of meditation.  Technically, meditation is slowing down the mind.  However, it remains very mysterious.  Even the great sages and gurus of the past would have difficulty accurately explaining meditation.  So, the next question on your mind may be, how then is slowing down one’s thinking therapeutic?  The answer is simple – thought and time are the same thing.  Slowing down the mind puts your consciousness in the present moment, where problems cannot exist.  That’s what Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now”, is all about – entering the Now.  Even a physicist will admit that time is illusion.  And, this is something Buddhists have known for 2,500 years.

It takes a creative mind to be able to meditate effectively.  What I recommend most to those new to meditation and spirituality is to start by listening to your thoughts.  Observe your mind.  And eventually you’ll notice yourself taking your thoughts less and less seriously.  They won’t seem to carry so much weight with them.  A very few of you will simply be able to use your creativity to slow down your thinking.  This is the most direct way of meditating, and it is a very very rare ability.

Meditation can be, ironically, a very unpleasant and even painful experience, contrary to the common misconception of it being a relaxation technique.  The goal is, ultimately, to realize inner peace, but getting there can be very unpleasant.  Generally, you can determine if you are progressing in meditation by the degree of peace you feel.  Realizing inner peace is a direct sign that you are successfully slowing down your mind because mind is the antithesis of inner peace.  In my next post, I will discuss another technique used to slow down the mind called “self-inquiry”.  Thanks for reading.

Last night I purchased a ticket to attend one of Eckhart Tolle’s live “Eckhart Tolle TV” recordings at the Throckmorton Theatre in San Francisco, CA on Tuesday, April 10 and Wednesday, April 11 of 2012.  This will be my first time seeing Eckhart Tolle in person.  There will be a Q & A session with Eckhart on both days – Tuesday and Wednesday.  I’ll have to think of a couple of questions for Eckhart.  I’m obviously very excited to have the opportunity to attend one of Eckhart’s recordings.  I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.

I’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety for over 13 years now (The last half of my life).  I can say that I know a lot about it.  When my battle with depression comes up in conversation the most common question I get is something that sounds like, “Why are you depressed?” or, “What are you depressed about?”.  And these questions show a complete lack of knowledge about what depression truly is.  For instance, if you saw a little boy who was terminally ill from brain cancer.  Would you ask him, “What’s causing the cancer?”?  No, this question would not make sense.  Depression is a mental illness and mental illnesses are diseases too, just like cancer.

I believe, also, that there is a very strong link between depression and anger – or what I call “empty anger”.  For instance, if a patient is being emotionally abused and does not act out his/her anger, then depression results.  Depression is anger without enthusiasm.  Practicing assertiveness is, in my opinion, the most practical way of overcoming depression.

Before the World, there was nothingness. This nothingness – consciousness – was ignorant of its own self. That is, consciousness not knowing what consciousness was. Out of this ignorance came fear. Out of fear came the world and all things manifest. Now the point of life is to return to that primordial state – the state of bliss. That state can only be reached through meditation – slowing down one’s thinking. Through meditation we make the shift from thinking to being. Thus, the cycle of life goes like this: Nothing + Ignorance = Fear = The World (mind) = No Ignorance of Nothingness = Nirvana Now then, why do lives keep coming and going? The answer is simple. There is an infinite amount of nothingness – no thing is forever. Suffering (life) won’t end until all human beings are enlightened. This will jam the karmic waves between us and the animal realm, spreading peace throughout the World. And this will lead to the disappearance of the Universe.

Welcome to CalvinTerlizzi[dot]com. This is a web log revolving around Meditation, God, Spirituality, Meta-physics, The New Age Movement, Mental Health (Depression Awareness), and is, in part, dedicated to and in honor of my Master and Guru, Eckhart Tolle.  Follow me, Calvin Terlizzi, for an opportunity to learn, grow, think and have fun!

Eckhart Tolle